How to remove negativity from life | All you need to know about - Akhbaar Express

In simple words we can say, negativity is an expression of criticism of something. Let me explain to you the type of negativity people for your better understanding,

Complainers, like the friend who complains endlessly without looking for a solution,
Cancellers, like the friend who takes a compliment and spins it. You say, “You look good” and he understands, “he is looking bad”,
Casualties, like the friend who thinks everyone is against him,
Critices, like friends who judge others for their different opinion,
Commanders, like a friend who says, “you never have time for me” even though he is busy as well,
Competitors, like friends who always compare them to others, controlling and manipulating to make themselves or their choices look better,
Controllers, like friends, try to control or monitor others to direct how their friends or partners spend their time.

Above all are sorts of nearly all types of negativities. I hope you all, now better understand what negativity is and you may find checking yourself whether you are in negativity or not.
Now, you understand negativity, so we can go forward to the process of removing negativity but before understanding this process you need to understand one more thing i.e., the origin of negativity.

How does this negativity rise in our minds?

The negativity rises in our body through two paths, one is external and the other one is internal,

External negativities: external negativities are the negativities that come from people around us and from our attachments.
Internal negativities: internal negativities are those negativities that come from our inside. Yes, even you can be the source of negativity sometimes.

Removing negativity from life

See, once we recognize the negativity, we can try to remove, neutralize or reverse it to positivity. Once you recognize the complainer isn’t looking for a solution, you don’t need to provide them.

Reverse external negativity

Here are some strategies that help you to step away from the negative person in order to make the clearheaded decision,

Become an objective observer:

First thing, you need to paste this line in your head with permanent glue, “you don’t need to be upset by the way other people treat you.” There is some type of emotional program in our mind that say, “became upset when somebody does not treat you well.”

Instead of reacting compulsively, you could enjoy your freedom as a human being and refuse to be upset. One more thing you need to understand, if you don’t want others to hurt you or judge you at your worst moments, you also must be careful not to do that to others.

“If you can, help others: if you cannot do that, at least do not hurt them”

- Dalai lama

Back Slowly away

Letting go. In life, we get attached to certain things and we can’t let them go away from us. But we need to learn the art of letting go. Letting go give us freedom, and freedom is the only condition for happiness. If in our hearts, we still attach to something, we can’t be free from anger, anxiety, depression, or possessions.

One of the best methods to do this is to remove the things which make this letting go process hard or make you emotionally weak. Let’s say, the shirt of your ex or a particular coffee shop where you always run into a former friend. If you don’t let go physically, you won’t let go emotionally.

Here, it doesn’t mean to forget about them, no. You just need to become emotionally and mentally strong, and for that, you need to detach yourself from the thing which makes you weak.

“Things should not own you, you should own things”

The 25/75 principle

Most of us are with the people, we are comfortable with. My only suggestion to you is to spend 75% of the time with a group that inspires you rather than brings you down and if you want, you can spend 25% of the time with the people you are comfortable with.

“Melon changes color by looking at another melon”

If I explain this in terms of negativity, this means, being surrounded by negative people will make you a negative person. But here you can do one more thing, only in special cases, if you could influence by your surroundings, then your surroundings could also influence by you. Instead of being influenced by them, reverse their negativity with positivity. It totally depends upon your capability.

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Don’t be the savior

As I above said, if a complainer is telling you his problem and doesn’t look for any solution, you also don’t need to find the solution for him, just listen to him. If you try to solve his problem then you become frustrated because when people don’t take our brilliant advice, we don’t feel good.

Don’t try to solve others' problems unless you have the necessary skills. You will make things worse for others and for yourself. Instead of helping you can introduce him to some people or ideas that might help them.

Reverse internal negativity

As I said above, all our negativity does not come from outside. After reversing the external negativity, we begin to understand our own internal negativity. Envy, complaint, and anger….. are the parts of our internal negativity. We can also neutralize them by reversing them by purifying our thought.

Envy means taking pleasure in the suffering of others. Today lots of meme videos get viral on how someone had an accident or fall into the pit and people are laughing at it. See, laughing at your friend who slips on the floor is a different thing, but if someone is deeply hurt, don’t make fun of him.

In this competitive world, it is hard to completely remove envy, jealousy, greed, lust, anger, pride, and illusion, but that doesn’t mean we should stop trying. We think freedom means, speaking anything, doing anything, and pursuing all desires but real freedom means letting go of things not wanted.

Spot – Stop – Swap

Spot:

Try to record yourself when you speak negative things. Like you can write down your comment or record your comment. Do this practice the whole day and at night read your comment or listen to your voice and find what thing triggers you. Try to find out the root cause of this.

Stop:

When you understand what things are triggering you, now the time comes to address that thing. When we’re stressed, we hold our breath or tighten our jaws. Similarly, observe your physical presence when you feel anger, jealousy, envy, etc... So, next time when you feel anger, illusion, jealousy, etc., first control your breath ( we change our breathing pattern according to our mood) then try to relax your body. This step will help you to control yourself.

Words are very powerful that’s why we should only speak words that are truthful, beneficial to all, pleasing, and don’t agitate the minds of others. When you limit your negative speech, you may find you have less to say. Criticizing someone else’s work ethic doesn’t make you work harder.

Remember, saying whatever we want, whenever we want, however, we want, is not freedom. Real freedom is not feeling the need to say these things.

I know stopping yourself is hard, and that is where the third-term, swap plays an important role.

Swap:

After spotting and stopping the negativity from both external and internal, you can begin to amend it or swap it. You need to swap only when the result is productive.

People find joy in their own success, they are limiting their joy. But if you can take pleasure in the success of others. You will get experience lots of happiness and joy.

Let’s say you are a complainer, instead of complaining thoughtlessly, you should do complain mindfully. For example, you have a problem with a partner that he comes late. You should instead of complaining to your friend or someone else, who can’t do anything about it, communicate directly with your partner mindfully. Try to make things productive instead of destructive.

Similarly, you need to find your own way to swap your negativity. Every people have a different way.

A beautiful conversation between Jay Shetty and his spiritual teacher, Shree Radhanath Swami

Jay Shetty: how to stay peaceful and be a positive force in a world where there is so much negativity.

Radhanath Swami: There is toxicity everywhere around us. In the environment, and in the political atmosphere, the origin is in people’s hearts. Unless we clean the ecology of our own hearts and inspire others to do the same. We will be an instrument of polluting the environment. But if we create purity in our own hearts, then we can contribute great purity to the world around us.