Tips :How To Survive In Johannesburg

1. If you get offered a quick Job, no matter how broke

you're, walk away.Say No & don't look back; even if it's for

charity, Baleka!

2. No earphones while walking in the CBD.

3. When you see a lot of People running & Shouting

"Vimba" Just know sh*t's about to go down, Some ass

whooping.

4. When someone offers to sell a brand new smartphone

at a cheapest price in the CBD, Baleka!

5. Don't act stupid when you see celebrities at Braam /

NewTown they're always there.

6. Do not wear Mini Skirts in Jo'burg CBD

7. Never go to China Mall alone, that side is a bit quiet &

dangerous; You will be jacked.

8. In a TAXI Close your nearest window especially if you're

using a taxi from Rivonia or Morningside, as soon as you

enter Hillbrow put your phone away. Only take out your

phone on the freeway because these local born Nyaope

Boys Have skills on opening the Window from outside to

access your phone, and It happens so freaking fast.

9. If you see someone with a big bag asking for taxi money

to go home trust me, those streets are his home, they

always have that bag & that Story, so Just keep moving.

10. Those Nigerian guys by those Small Shops at Bree Taxi

Rank will always stop you & say " Don't you wanna sell your

PHONE for Good Money" Just say NO & flee fast.

11. Also when you see a guy "accidentally" dropping a

stack of cash" don't pick up the money, just mind your own

business & keep walking faster.

12. It Helps to walk where everyone walks, there are no

short cuts in JOZI.

13. Never ask for direction especially at MTN taxi rank, it

costs R100.

14. If you see a cow falling from the sky, don't look

surprised just keep on walking.

15. Never say sorry.

16. Never let anyone help you carry your bag, no matter

how heavy it is.. Never.

17. Finally, The First Corner Rule. Very Important!! If you

find yourself walking alone & you see people following &

your Instinct tells you shit's about to go down you're damn

right, shit's about to go down so stay calm, act confident,

don't run at that point because if you run they will chase

you & catch your ass then get some ass whooping but, at

the first corner run as if you're trying to break Caster

Semenya's record, & When you look back you'll see them

Running after you from a distance. Remember, first corner

you become a damn Olympic Sprinter!

Berbagi :